4 June 2015

Processing....

Been re-reading Ina May Gaskin's 'Guide to Childbirth' with Simon.  It's heavy on the 'natural birth' side of things, but also strangely reassuring to hear the stories of what the female body is capable of.  I was impressed by this book before F, so I wanted Simon to know her theories/principles/strategies for birth before we're actually booking into the labor ward.  It's been good to hear Simon read it to me - his voice and interpretation is filtering out some of the unease I feel about the subject - unease both facing an upcoming birth and remembering F's delivery.

I also read Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding this week.  It was an excellent book, though I have mixed feelings about the topic.  I believe that it is better for the baby than formula, more immediate hence:convenient, more economical, etc., etc.  If you're able to exclusively breastfeed, you have a lot less kit to worry about sterilizing, preparing infant formula, making bottles at night, boiling kettles, packing diaper bags, oi veh!  I remember running into a grocery store for an emergency prepackaged formula when the formula I'd brought with me had been out too long.  Stressful!  However, I really hated breastfeeding F.  Ugh, just the thought of doing it again makes my stomach a bit squeamish.  I felt really really guilty at the time when I had so much trouble breastfeeding and when I eventually gave it up.  (Though I was so happy to give it up at the time!)

The book was a really good read though.  It has a lot of good trouble-shooting pointers - I'll be using it as a reference guide.  It was also sad reading about what's 'normal' - even for a 'normal' hospital birth and comparing it to what we experienced with F's birth.  Over and over, when she said, '__________ can affect breastfeeding...' I realized 'Oh, that's what happened to us...' and so no wonder F and I struggled with it - we were really fighting upstream the whole way to get established.

So I feel I've weirdly been through a mini-process of grieving my memories from 3 years ago.  Sounds melodramatic perhaps, but I think just realizing and acknowledging - 'yeah, that was tough. That didn't go the way I wanted it to.  I wish I had known about _______ before we were faced with these decisions' is really valuable for moving forward.  I'm grateful for the time I've had to read and think about things this week.  If nothing else, it gives me some space to say, 'If I have the choice, this is what I would like to happen, but I realize that I may not have the choice when the time comes.  And I'm okay with that.'

I had a good talk to the midwife on Tuesday.  She won't be at the hospital, but she's the one who has been monitoring me.  The OB/gyn has told me I'm going to have an IV and constant monitoring in case anything happens and we need emergency surgery.  It was reassuring to ask the midwife what that monitoring usually looks like, and what facilities would be available in the labor ward.  The rooms are private and en suite/shower - that's major.  I'll be able to move around the room if I choose.  I will have a midwife there monitoring constantly, but she'll only bring in other staff if there's an emergency.  (And the midwife said, 'And if you need intervention, there will be intervention - they will act and debrief you after' - this is also reassuring, though I hope it won't be necessary.)  A birth pool might be available - but because of my SPD, they have to assess my mobility when I'm booking into the hospital.  It would depend on whether I was able to get out quickly enough in an emergency situation.  It also seems that they routinely support as little intervention as possible - so normally they don't clamp and cut the cord immediately.  Normally, they would wait at least an hour before taking the baby off to be cleaned up/weighed.  Normally, the baby stays with you the whole hospital stay.  These are all things I was prepared to fight for after my reading this week, and it's reassuring to know that I wouldn't have to fight for them, as long as everything goes 'normally.'

so yes.  Processing.

29 May 2015

Before

So I've been having  good week this week - hardly used the crutches at all and alternating things that are mildly more active and days to just sit still.  One of my sit-still projects has been making-under these second hand Bratz dollies.  F is really enjoying playing with them.  Inspired by the 'tree-change dolls' from the lady in Tasmania.

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

After with new dolly dress. 

Much happier

Even though F told me she was 'wearing pajamas'

4 June 2014

I was apprehensive about this week.  F is only going to nursery for two mornings a week, though Susan still giving me some childcare relief on Thursdays.  I wasn't sure what it was going to be like picking her up at noon and having the energy reserves to look after her the rest of the day.  I just have to say -

It's been GREAT so far this week.  I am so lucky to have such an intelligent, sweet-natured, curious and beautiful little girl.  If anything, we've had an even better week this week than the week before when she was in more childcare.  She was able to go and expend some energy outside at nursery, then I was in control of her lunch and naptimes so the end of the day has just been much easier.  She's had a nap consistently this week - which means I've also had a nap.  And we've had some wonderful conversations.  And she's often been happy just to play by herself in the same room as me when we're home.

I'm going to write a few of these down before I forget them:

We watched Peter and the Wolf at lunchtime on Monday.  After it was over, Felicity was telling me basically that Peter was naughty for going out to look for the wolf when his grandpapa had told him to stay at home.  'I would stay at Nana's house when my Grandpapa said.'  And I said something like, 'Yes, Peter was a silly boy, wasn't he?  You're much more sensible.  We'd let your Daddy get the wolf, wouldn't we?' and then I thought, 'Well, actually, Mommy and Daddy would probably both go get the wolf - we wouldn't let the wolf get you.'  And she immediately piped up - '*I* not let the WOLF get DADDY!'  I laughed so much, and said, 'No, no I not let the wolf get Daddy either.  And Daddy not let the wolf get you or Mommy.'  Glad to see her familial protective instincts are well and truly getting established!

We had a fun 'science' lesson at tesco grocery store yesterday.  I went to one of the bigger out-of-town stores to use a gas coupon I had (I paid just 94pence a liter yesterday - whohoo!  The going rate is about 120pence a liter.)  I've been eating a punnet of blueberries a day lately it seems, so I went to stock up on some more fruit while we were there.  She was helping me put things in the trolley.  She'd never seen cherries or kiwi fruit before.  She recognized the watermelon and wanted one of those.  Then she pointed at a sign showing nectarines and peaches and asked what they were, so I bought cherries and nectarines and peaches and pears (she *has* had pears before- we like them) and a watermelon and bananas (she would eat bananas ALL day if I let her.  I find myself sometimes saying 'No more bananas, you've had 3 already' only to find that Simon's gone and given her one too!)

Anyway, we were snacking on our glorious feast of fruit later and she was studying the cherries.  For this to be funny, you have to realize that in Explorers we've been doing the questions relating to the Fall.  She's also been watching the bible stories app and she's been especially fixated on the one about the Fall.  So as she had this cherry, I noticed she was saying something about 'separated' under her breath and took it as a good sign to practice her 'Questions' for Explorers.
'Did Adam and Eve continue to be good?'
'No, they sinned by disobeying God.'
'What happened when they sinned?'
'Sin separated them from God.'
'That's right.'
'I'm eating cherries'
'Yes, they're good, aren't they?'
and in a whisper...'That's why I'm separated from God....'

We hadn't talked about *how* Adam and Eve sinned, so I was *floored*.  I confess I laughed so hard.  'Aw baby, no!  Do those cherries look like the fruit in the Bible stories book?  and you know Adam and Eve sinned by eating the fruit?' (nodding to both questions) 'Aw, honey!  God said they could eat any fruit except the fruit of the one in the very middle and it wasn't a cherry tree!  we can eat apples and pears and cherries and oranges and all kinds of fruit- it doesn't separate us from God!'

Good to have these deep theological discussions from an early age!

H, Z, and C came over on Monday afternoon and it was so nice to see how well F and Z played together.  F wanted to play 'trains' (by linking up and following eachother), Z wanted to play 'Monsters' by roaring at eachother.  I laughed at myself for being quite secretly proud that F's 'monster roar' was actually more convincing than Z's!  lol
We saw Z and H and C Wednesday afternoon as well.  When I told F that we were seeing them after she had her little rest, she was so excited!
'I'm going to STING him!'
'Excuse me?'
'I'm going to STING him!  I'm a buzzy bee!  Bzz bzz bzzz..'
and I laughed again.
'Oh, are you?  Do you think Z will like that game?'
'Yes.'
'Yeah, I think he'll probably like that game too.'

The potty training continues apace.  She still has accidents sometimes (more when she gets too distracted playing or watching something!) but the new development has been she wants to sit more and more on the actual toilet, rather than just her little potty.  She also has told me to leave the bathroom as she does this sometimes.  F has this childlike genius for seeing things as other things.  The other day, she yelled, 'Mommy!  I done a poo!  Come, look!' (We have a rule that we only talk about poos in the bathroom.)
'Oh wow, yeah, good job! It's a big poo...'
'It's a MOON poo!'
and I busted up again, as I noticed the poo was distinctly crescent-shaped.
Another time, she had done lots of little poos, and she said, 'They're FRIEND poos!'
Another time, she did a big poo and a little poo and she said (in a high-pitched sing-song) 'Awww, it's a little BABY poo!'

I'm glad we have a rule that we only talk about poos in the bathroom.

Maybe it's because I've looked a little more helpless out and about lately, but one thing that has irritated me about looking after F the last few days have been other adults.  It happened at the doctor's office Wednesday morning.  I told F to put on her jacket and backpack before we went outside.  She was distracted in the large waiting room that was filled with toys.  I was on my crutches, and when she didn't immediately obey, both the nurse and the receptionist started repeating, coaxing, bribing, persuading.... ugh!  Maybe I give F too much time to follow instructions, but I have read that it actually takes longer for children to process an instruction than it does for adults.  I have given her the benefit of the doubt, usually by leaving a pause before I tell her again, but this is more because I want my words to be clear and not get into the habit of incessantly repeating myself.  It will take her the same amount of time to obey, but I might say what I need to say 2-3 times instead of 7-8 times!  So if anything, having more people add to a conversation that is between me and my daughter only adds 'white noise', more confusion, and diminishes my authority in the matter.  I feel less capable to discipline effectively if there's a vocal crowd involved, because I think that discipline, (and even giving her the reminder that I *will* discipline) is and should be private.  The problem is, people are just trying to help, but I wish I could think of a tactful way to tell these well-intentioned-interferers to 'Butt out!'  The best way I've been able to reestablish order when this has happened is to take F away from the situation where I can talk to her alone.  At the doctor's office yesterday, it happened to be the bathroom.  I was able to retreat, jackets and stuff in hand, herd her away from the nurses, reestablish communication, and easily put on the jacket and backpack after dealing with both our delicate bladders!  (The bathroom, helpfully, was a disabled one, with fish decals stuck all over the walls - F spent the whole time pointing out 'jellyfish! baby jellyfish! Octopus! Little crab!  Mommy crab! Seaweed!  What's that mommy? Oh, Pufferfish! Mommy!  A shark!')    

This morning I gave F a bath and a hairwash since her poor little head was so tangly.  We needed a deep condition just to brush it out.  She was shivery after the bath and laughing and teeth-chattery when I wrapped her up and tossed her on her bed, wrapping her up in a blanket before fetching her day clothes.  I was helping her get dressed and she jumped up and hugged me around my copious middle.  I was laughing at her and asked if she was giving her baby brother a hug.  And she looked up at me and said, 'I make you happy, Mommy?'  And I laughed again and said, 'Yes! You make me very happy!'  'You make me happy, Mommy.'

I love that little girl.

30 May 2015

A description of F's bedtime routine.  Just a note that this is *descriptive* of what happens in our family, not *prescriptive* of what-I think-bedtime-should-be-for-everyone.  It's just how we roll around here.

*************

Felicity's bedroom routine (May 2015)

If bathing, start about 7:10pm

If no bath needed, start about 7:30pm

Goal is to have Felicity settled in bed by 8:10pm-ish

Take medicine syringes and 'inside-cup' of milk upstairs with you to make it simpler. (Inside cup is a cup with a lid, filled with whole milk and zapped in microwave for about 20-25 seconds.)

Step 1 – at the top of the stairs, direct Felicity into the bathroom to sit on the potty and try once more. While she's sitting on the potty, put her toothpaste (top shelf in the cabinet under her hairbobble box usually – not the adult toothpaste) on the toothbrush and have her brush her teeth. (Whatever toy or animal she is holding can 'help' her brush her teeth. 'EEEEeee' means smile and brush the front of the teeth, 'Aaaaaaaah' means brushing the tops of the molars above and below.) If she's not had a bath, also wet down a corner of a wash rag and let her wash her mouth and face. She'll usually ask where she still needs to wipe off her face and expects to be shown by pointing to your own face.

If she still hasn't finished the potty by the time this is done, go and get her Pjs and pull-up from the bedroom to save time. (Pull-ups are either on top of the dresser, or in the top lef-thand drawer. The Pajama drawer is the top full-length drawer. The My little pony Pjs are the current favorite. If they're not available, they're 'in the wash'.) You can take off her day clothes and put them straight into the laundry basket in the bathroom if she's still not finished with the potty. Dress her in the pull-up and Pjs as soon as she finishes the potty to save time.

Her goal during this time is to have enough time for '3 stories.' Remind her when you're climbing the stairs – 'Great! We're going to read 3 stories tonight!' And if there's any slow-down or resistance/ignoring instructions in the bathroom routine, the reply, 'Well, I guess we might only have time for 2 stories...' usually starts things progressing again. There's only been a couple of days with significant behaviour when I've had to actually take away stories, but those times I've had to say 'I know, I want three stories too! But we will have to try again tomorrow because you weren't listening when mommy said to........'

When she's dressed in PJs, it's time to go into her room and choose 3 stories. She tends to focus and settle better in a clean room, so depending on time and how messy the room is, she can help to sort toys back into their appropriate boxes.

Clearing the room:

Legos and plastic jungle animals go into the clear lidded box. Ponies figures and sylvanian families go into the purple Pony box. All doll house furniture goes into the doll house. Farm animals, rubber ducks and farm stuff goes into the soft farmhouse. Soft toys go into the green laundry hamper. All cloth food goes into the clear cylindrical tub. Tea dishes go on the tray on top of the bookcase. It takes generally less than 5 minutes to put everything away myself – slightly longer if she 'helps' (but I try to make her help depending on time and how tired she is to set precedence!)

Story time -

Shut the curtains before story time and turn on the green bug light and the pink flower light. You can have the overhead lights on too if there's not enough light to read. Picking out 3 stories first is generally better. It allows control on short/long stories and it means that if she wants more than one story in a longer book, you can 'trade' it from the stories you've already picked. For example, one story out of the Bible story book counts as one story – not the whole book as one story (since there are 5 stories in each book.) Give her her milk to drink on story 2 or 3 so she gets most of it out of the way before questions.

After story time, the overhead lights go off and I usually try to turn off the green bug light as well before 'Questions.' If she's been playing with 'pokey toys' (ie, plastic ones), this is the time they have to leave the bed too. This is the list of questions she's learned at explorers and memory verses I've happened to teach her at one point or another.

Questions:

Q: Who made you?

A: God

Q:What else did God make?

A: All things

At this point, she sometimes gets quite silly. I sometimes have to give her the reminder that we won't do the questions if she's just going to be silly.

Q:Why did God make you and all things?

A: For his own glory

Q:Where is God?

A: Everywhere

Q: What is God?

A: A spirit

Q:What is a spirit

A: An invisible being

Q:Can you see God?

A: No, but he always sees me

Q:Does God know all things?

A: Yes, nothing can be hidden from God

Q:How many Gods are there?

A: There is only one God.

Q: What are the 3 persons of God?

A: The father, the son, and the holy spirit

Q: Who is God's son?

A: The Lord Jesus Christ

Q: Did Christ stay in the grave when he died?

A: No, he rose again on the third day

Q: Where is Christ now?

A: He's in heaven, praying for us.

Q: What is sin?

A: Sin means disobeying God

(Aside, she'll often say that sin makes our hearts 'sad and dirty' though that's not technically one of the questions)

Q: What can change a sinner's heart?

A: The Holy Spirit alone

Q: What does Jesus mean?

A: Saviour, because he saves his people from their sin

Q:Where do you learn to love and obey God?

A:In the Bible alone

Q:Who was the first man God made?

A:Adam

Q:Who was the first woman God made?

A: Eve

Q:Were Adam and Eve good when God made them?

A: Yes, everything God made was very good.

Q: Did Adam and Eve continue to be good?

N: No, they sinned by disobeying God

To be continued as we add new questions each Wednesday at Explorers....!

Possible Memory Verses:

Her favorites are 'The Lord is my Light' and 'The Lord is my Shepherd'

The Lord is my Light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the Stronghold of my Life, of whom shall I be afraid?

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want, he makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside the still waters, he restores my soul, he leads me in paths of righteousness for his names' sake

(clarification: 'sake', not 'sick' and we have this discussion that God puts his name on us – just like her last name is 'Rigg' because she's in our family -so if she goes on a tangent about 'being sick' or 'I'm Felicity Rigg!' that's where that's coming from – completely logical, really.) Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Let your gentleness be known to everyone, the Lord is near.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, Genesis 1:1

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

(Hebrews 12:11)

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

After memory verses (a good one to finish with is 'Do not be anxious...' as it goes nicely into 'presenting requests to God'), it's time to pray. The green bug light goes off at this time. (she sometimes protests about this, I try not to make a big deal about it, because she really settles faster without that light in her face.) I usually ask her 'what do you want to thank God for today then?' and she will decide who goes first. If she doesn't want to pray, that's fine too. Simon and I will both pray.

She gets a hug and a kiss, and her music goes on. (She's been listening to the nutcracker for the last month or so.) The pink flower light stays on. She can have another drink of her milk.

If she's clingy, I'll sit on her bed and hold her hand for one more minute. Then I say 'time to hold your belly-button' and tuck her in. If she's really protesting, I'll sit for one more minute before saying something like 'I need to go to the bathroom now, close your eyes and I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you.' Or 'I'm going to go sit in my chair in my room now, I'll be close and I'll come back to check on you in 10 minutes.' If she's happy, I'll just tell her I love her so much and goodnight.

Sometimes, she'll call out one more time and I will go back in once more. She usually just wants one more sip of milk and then she's happy to burrow down to her pillow. Sometimes she'll want her hand held once more and the process above applies.

Naptime is called 'A Little Rest.'

A Little Rest (Naptime) happens right after lunch at home. She's taken upstairs, put on the potty (important as I don't put a pull up on her at naptime!). She only gets 1 story and 3 questions at naptime. No prayer (unless she asks for one) , no lights on, but I do usually play her music. If she says she's not tired, the rule is she has to lie still with her eyes closed for 10 minutes. If I come and check on her and she's not asleep after that (I confess, I sometimes leave it for 15 minutes) she can get up. She's usually snoring by the time I go check on her. It's easier in her mind though as it's only 'a Little rest. Not a Big one.'

26 May 2015

Tuesday -

I woke up yesterday feeling like I was staring down the barrel of another week and not sure what to do with it.  Yesterday, I ran a load of errands in the morning, fixed a few dollies for F, talked to Jean and to Mom on the phone, picked up F and Simon from nursery/work and even took a few things up to the dump.  It was a really productive day and I was surprised that I wasn't hurting as much as I was last week.  I left my crutches and I was a lot more limber, even in the evening.  I don't know why the change happened, but I am grateful for a brief respite.  I slept better last night as well as a result.

After being out yesterday, I decided to stay quietly at home today.  I started working on a painting and got a lot further with it than I expected to in one day.  I kinda get sucked into things when I start them....but I was trying to discipline myself to stop every 30-45 minutes and take a break - fit the housework and lunch, etc., around painting.

It's been a gorgeous sunny day and nursery slathered the kids up with sunscreen and played with them outside for most of the day they said.  I'm so glad she's got that outlet right now as she wouldn't have had much fun stuck inside with me.  She's tired tonight, but that's because she's had a really good day.

Where I was happily making a mess most of today....

Picking up F from nursery - she'd found a toy cat there which she named 'Tim Catchamouse' after a character in a book she has.

19 May 2015

Lots to process....

In 6 weeks, we will have a baby.  The biggest thing on my mind lately has been the obstetrician's appointment that was yesterday.  I didn't sleep well at all the 3 days going up to it.  I'm glad Simon was able to be there and I'm glad Felicity was at nursery.  Lots of mixed feelings.  Biggest decision was birth-plan - I went in requesting a section, due to my pain and fears about pelvic injury.  The doctor was *lovely* a real human person, and made us aware of complications a second section could present in the future.  Also reassured me strongly that this SPD is a specifically pregnancy-related condition that *will* go away after the birth - could take a matter of days, or a matter of weeks, but it goes away.  There's no medical reason they would urge a section at the moment.  They will not use chemicals to induce me, as this would be dangerous with my current scarring.  Because they will not induce me, if I haven't spontaneously gone into labor by 40 or 41 weeks, they would say that's a medical reason for another section.  So, however it goes, in 6 weeks, we will have a baby.  

I think she knew straight away that my reason for wanting a section is fear of the pain, but she didn't mention that or pass any judgement on that in any way.  I'm hurting as it is and labor is said to be one of the most painful experiences known to 'man.'  Pain+pain = lots of pain.  I think it was very mature of me to admit this fear this yesterday (even though I started crying just thinking about it!).  But maybe knowing I only have to last for 6 weeks - and not 7 or 8 more will be enough of a psychological boost.  I'm not feeling blase like I was for Felicity's birth ('well, it's going to happen anyway now, so I guess I'll just deal!')  I'm frightened.  No one can talk me off this fear because I am very rational person - I know all the logical arguments in my head and I don't want anyone - even someone with the experience of labor behind them, trying to talk away this fear.  Even the doctor admitted that I will be in both types of pain during a natural birth.  But if I can manage it, it keeps more options open in the future and I don't want to regret this decision simply because I was afraid.  

Something said at Community Group last night - you never overcome a negative attitude/habit/feeling by simply 'trying' - you have to find an overmastering positive passion to take its place.  Ultimately, that inspiration is Christ.  I'm trying to find the key to applying the gospel to this fear of pain..................  I guess............. for starters.............God only gives us grace for today.

Staying consistent and calm with F while suffering sleep deprivation and chronic pain. Isn't. always. easy.  She's 3 and testing the boundaries.  She has selective hearing.  She gets the bulk of her schedule and discipline from me.  I feel like a broken record when I'm getting her dressed in the morning.  ('Come here. Come here. Come here and put your knickers on.  No!  Come back and put your trousers on.  What do you do when Mommy calls you?  That's right.  Come here now.')  She's started hitting me when she doesn't like what I'm telling her.  I'm having to speak very carefully and I am only using spanking as a last resort so that it results in *resolution* rather than *escalation* of the confrontation.  At night, her goal of having 3 stories read to her can usually speed up teeth-brushing, pajama-donning, medicine-taking, bath-taking, etc.etc, ('Well, if you don't come now, you'll only have 2 stories. OK, I guess we're only having 2 stories.  Well, come here now then.') but I still feel it's a bit of a cop-out/bribe.  And she shouldn't be obeying because she wants something, she should obey because it's the right thing to do.  I also am having to be careful with my temper, as it is very easy to flare up when she does something like hit me - while I need to make sure she knows hitting is absolutely unacceptable, she will only learn the fear of man if I use my anger as a weapon against her.  At the risk of sounding really sorry for myself - the reality is that me getting 3 or 4 consecutive hours of sleep is a *really good* night right now, and even that doesn't happen consistently.  Yes.  So as before, grace for the day.

Laughing - at latenighthashtags, with Simon, with F, at myself.  Laughing is good.  The Dadvice hashtags, the 'oopsmybad' and 'Iusedtothink' have all been pretty darn funny.  Simon and I have had the opportunity to go out for lunch together, by ourselves, twice this week!  I've enjoyed his company and we've laughed a lot.  Good to be remember that we still actually like eachother.  Felicity makes me laugh every day.  This morning she was talking cute baby-talk to my tummy, and kissing 'my baby brother.'  I should try to get a video of this adorable affection.

Another medicine episode from my roller coaster day yesterday.  It was probably the sleep deprivation of the nights before, but everything was either making me laugh or tear-up yesterday.  We gave F the last dose of one of her prescription heart medicines yesterday at lunchtime, but I wasn't worried because I had called in the medicine last week.  It usually only takes 4-5 days and I expected it to be in the pharmacy.  It wasn't.  The pharmacist was so apologetic, but it wasn't her fault, and nothing could be done.  

So, I called the Sick Kids, expecting to have to take F up to Accidents and Emergencies around her medicine time last night (ugh, 8pm - 9pm when she ought to be in bed) and expected to have to take her again this morning for her morning dose, until a new bottle could be arranged from their on-site pharmacy.....

However, the people I spoke to on the phone (both of them) were soooo articulate and kind.  Sometimes I get these troll-like people and I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language with them.  They managed to catch their pharmacy team before they left for the day, and they left the bottle for us at main reception within seriously, like 20 minutes.  All I had to do was drive up and pick it up.  *Amazing* and so so so appreciated.  And now we have plenty of medicine again.  

I was feeling so fragile emotionally and I feel like God protected me and caused so many *kind* people to cross my path yesterday, even under stressful circumstances.  Very humbling!    

Community group and trying to stay connected to people.  Understanding that though my issues are looming large in my own mind right now, everyone is dealing with something that is equally important to them.  How to authentically let people in?  

Feeling frustrated with the beautiful weather - I have time but I haven't been in my garden a bit.  I want to walk around Dalkeith Country Park.  I want to weed the flowerbeds, the strawberries and mow the lawn.  I'm hoping this season will make me appreciate movement more in the future.  I want to be fit again.

Reading the Odyssey.  Really reading it.  I started it halfway through when Odysseus arrives on Ithaca - read to the end, then looped back around again - now I'm back where I 'started' and I might just keep going.  \I was reading it in the bathroom the other night while keeping an eye on F's bath, and she wanted me to read it to her.  I was at the part where Odysseus sets sail to the underworld to consult Tiresius, the prophet.  I edited out the goriest analogies and scariest parts.  When I stopped reading aloud (to go faster - saying the words slows me down), she said 'Keep reading! Tell me!'

My to-do list.  It's double-sided right now.  I wrote it down because I need help with a lot of it.  Simon has been working so hard and he's trying to beat deadlines both at work and with the app stuff.  It's hard for me to ask him to do any more than the bare minimum of what's absolutely needed.  Practical lessons for me in communication, forbearance, prioritizing and letting go. 

Whooping cough vaccination this afternoon.  Documentary about nutrition, especially dangers of refined sugar and refined carbs. Shorter catechism. Teaching a 3 year old about appropriate touch.  Packing hospital bags.  Meal planning and tesco deliveries.  How to plan an study/office space....these are headings maybe for the next train of thought!

PS.  F is blowing zerberts on my arm, giggling and then saying, 'hehe....my voice is a little bit SCRUBBY!'

20 May 2015

Life continues....

So, time has flown since the last time I blogged.  I had an old friend come to stay from last Tuesday - we've just had the guest room painted 2 weeks ago, so Simon set up the bed on the day she arrived.  Then, next morning, he had to take it down again as the carpet-fitters were only able to come on Wednesday!  But they did a great job and Simon long-sufferingly put the bed *back* together Wednesday night.  The room itself is looking great.  I'll put up before/after pictures soon.

Krista was here til Friday afternoon, when she went over near Glasgow way to do some work.  Then she came back Monday afternoon and I took her to the airport early yesterday (Tuesday.)  

I need to figure out how to upload videos from my phone here....

Let's try this.

We have a cot-bed and a swinging bedside cradle, but we only borrowed a Moses basket for Felicity.  I felt that a little portable bed we could keep downstairs would be really useful, so I sourced one from faithful Gumtree!  This Moses basket has a rocking stand, and a removable washable cover - I couldn't believe the folks selling it were only asking £10.  Yes, please!  Bonus, Felicity had a lot of fun tucking in her animals and talking about her 'baby brother's bed.'